There are plenty of books, blogs and websites that instruct job seekers how to write the perfect cover letter. Despite the glut of resources available, I still hear stories from hiring managers who share their accounts of horribly written and inappropriate cover letters that they receive daily from oblivious job seekers. Based on their feedback, we though we’d provide a brief guide to instruct job seekers how to write a truly awful cover letter.

1. Ignore the specific instructions provided in the job description. I know several employers who intentionally insert a series of instructions in their job descriptions just to see if candidates are capable of following instructions. Those applicants who ignore or overlook these instructions are immediately disqualified. Do you think these instructions somehow don’t apply to you? Think again.
2. Ignore the minimum requirements outlined in the job description. I worked recently with a candidate who wanted to apply for a job that called for specific professional experience and certifications that she didn’t have. Despite her total lack of precisely defined qualifications, she was insistent that she could perform the job and believed she could overcome her deficiencies with a persuasive cover letter. No, you can’t. Don’t waste your time or theirs.
3. Don’t proofread your letter. The single biggest category of cover letter disqualifications that I hear from employers concerns the overwhelming number of spelling and grammatical mistakes that elude the writer’s attention. My favorite is the cover letter from an eager college graduate to a highly regarded magazine detailing his burning desire to become a “poof reader.” He didn’t get the job. And neither will you if your cover letter contains spelling and grammatical errors. If writing isn’t your strong suit, have someone proofread your letter before you send it. You won’t get a second chance, so don’t blow the first one with carelessness.
4. Forget to do a search and replace on the name of the last company that you sent this letter to. Despite the fact that every cover letter should be customized to the specific company and position that you’re interested in, many applicants simply change the company name and reuse the same cover letter over and over. Hiring managers don’t appreciate your declarations of personal enthusiasm for a job with Company X when they work for Company Y.
5. Address it To Whom it May Concern. Nothing proclaims your laziness or lack of imagination more than your refusal to make any effort to find out who your letter should be addressed to. Make a phone call. Check the company website. Perform a quick search on LinkedIn. Whatever you do, find the name of a real person to send your cover letter and resume to. Then spell their name correctly.
6. Send it on  the letterhead of your current employer. Is the message you want to send that you’re willing to pilfer your employer’s supplies or that you’re willing to pursue employment opportunities on someone else’s dime? Neither is a winner. Go to OfficeMax and buy some nice paper. At least 24 pound plain white or ivory. Use it.
7. Proclaim your personal perfection. Nothing is more off-putting to a potential employer than a stranger proclaiming their perfection for a job that they just read about. I’m not sure which is more disturbing, the display of assured narcissism or the incredibly poor judgment, but neither will endear you to an employer. It’s perfectly fine to declare your eagerness to learn more about the position and to assert your conviction that your skills and experience would be a valuable addition to their company, but it’s wise to stop just short of proclaiming perfection.
8. Forget to put your name anywhere on the letter. Cover letters get separated from resumes. Put your name, address, phone number and email contact information on both your cover letter and your resume. You do want to get a call back, don’t you?
9. Forget to include your telephone number or email address. (See above) Imagine the frustration of a hiring manager who reads your cover letter, is impressed with your qualifications and writing skills and then has no idea how to contact you.
10. Attach a personal photo. Unless you’re applying for a modeling or acting job, it’s inappropriate to include a photo with your cover letter. I know HR professionals who will immediately discard a cover letter if there is a photo attached because of legal concerns and the fear of potential discrimination claims that could be brought by a disgruntled applicant who could prove that the company knew their racial or ethnic background. Photo = toss.

And since you hung in this long, here’s one bonus tip:
Extend your letter to two or more pages. There’s no excuse for your cover letter to extend beyond a single page. It’s a cover letter, not a deposition. The cover letter is not the appropriate forum to detail every aspect of your professional career and testify to your appropriateness for the job. Save it for the job interview. Keep your cover letter succinct and contained within a single page and you may just get that interview.

The importance of the personal story was perfectly illustrated to me last week when I was approached by a friend asking for help in getting back in the job market. She had a resume and a LinkedIn profile – fulfilling the absolute minimum requirements for any job seeker – but had no idea how to jump start her search.

Initially, she wanted my help pursuing a senior development position with a local non-profit and asked for some help modifying her resume to make her more attractive to the organization’s director. However, a quick perusal of her resume convinced me that no amount of creative writing could transform her background in the hauling industry and real estate management into anything remotely appropriate for the opening she wanted to pursue.

Not wanting to dash her hopes upon the jagged rocks of reality, I sat down with her to discuss her previous work experience and asked her to recount some of her most distinctive, enjoyable and memorable moments from her previous jobs. Initially, she started to recount the tasks she performed in each of her previous positions, but I told her to put the resume aside and just tell me stories that stood out in her mind.

She described the day she was hired at the hauling company, interviewed in a dank interior office, lit by a single bulb and crammed from floor to ceiling with paper. Unopened envelopes, bills, unsent invoices, even checks, piled on every surface and jutting out of every cabinet and every drawer. The office resembled a scene from Hoarders and presented a challenge to my friend. She offered to get the entire office and business organized and running efficiently and was hired on the spot.

She then spent weeks opening every envelope, sorting payables from receivables, meeting with bankers to discuss how the company would work with the bank from that day forward, met with the accountant to clarify how the books should be kept, contacted all the clients to resolve billing issues and personally handled all client service calls. She took over the business and made it run. And she loved doing it. She faced a herculean task that would have driven me into one of the cluttered corners, whimpering in the fetal position and dove into the project headlong.

I love her story. And she had others. How she expanded their client base from 65 clients to over 3000 by herself. And how she handled all client service calls and built enduring relationships because her clients never called their hauling company, they called Paula. She became the face and voice of the company and turbocharged its growth.

Once I heard those stories, I didn’t care what accounting program she used, or how they processed payroll. I simply trusted that she could face a task – no matter how complex – dive in and get it done. And I appreciate it more because she excels at the things that I avoid. And I know dozens of business executives like me who desperately need someone who can organize their business and keep it running smoothly day to day. Is there a title for that? I don’t know. But I know there’s a story to tell that will let Paula put whatever title she wants on her business card.

So, what are your stories? The ones that are so memorable you still remember the tiniest details? They don’t have to be your greatest successes, either. Frequently they result in failures that taught you permanent lessons. As long as they continue to inspire you, they’ll inspire your listener. So jot them down. They’ll separate you from every other job seeker who focuses on their tasks without sharing the technicolor details of their real accomplishments.

The single most important document in your job search hasn’t changed in generations – it’s still your resume. But what has changed is the ability for even those unskilled in graphics design to create a resume that stands out visually, incorporates color and separates you from every other job seeker whose resume format simple blends into the stack.

In a highly competitive job market, you need to exploit every advantage that you can gain in the job search process. Ultimately, you want to be distinctive and memorable, and a creative resume design can provide you with a significant differentiator.

The Hiring Manager’s Perspective
Put yourself behind the hiring manager’s desk. They’ve got a position to fill and a stack of resumes to glance through to pick out a few candidates to invite in for an interview. Assuming that you have the minimum requirements specified, your goal is to have the hiring manager notice your resume, take the time to read about your skills and accomplishments and secure an invitation for an interview.

If the hiring manager has to sift through dozens (or potentially hundreds) of resumes, how can you increase your chances of being noticed? Create a noticeable resume.

Resume Inspiration
There’s a terrific site that collected 36 beautiful resumes that should inspire every job seeker. Most of the resumes on the page are from graphic designers – people who create beautiful and remarkable images for a living. And the resumes they create are different from every resume you’ve ever seen online or in any resume guidebook.

Take this resume sample, for example (click to enlarge). It’s the resume that we adopted as the model for our Job Search Experiment with Tim Krenn. The format is visually distinctive, incorporating blue section headers and a blue vertical separator that are subtle yet compelling.

If you don’t know how to select colors to blend into your resume, you might want to check out an online tool called Color Scheme Designer that will pick complementary colors or even an entire color palette for you.

This second resume (left, click to enlarge) also incorporates creative formatting and subtle elements of color along with a distinctive font selection to stand out from the crowd.

While the use of different fonts may help your resume stand out, you should never use more than two fonts and you should avoid fonts that are cartoonish or whimsical. Your choice of font should connote your professional competence and judgment, so select carefully.

Critical Edge
Every study of hiring manager behavior has demonstrated that they will spend only 15-30 seconds examining each resume. You have just a few seconds to make an impression and gain their attention. The creative application of formatting, font and color can help your resume stand apart from the crowd and give you a distinctive advantage in gaining an interview.

A copy of a letter da Vinci wrote (full text below. original at right: click to enlarge) to the Duke of Milan seeking a position as an armorer was recently made available and contains some universal truths that today’s resume writers can learn from, including:

1. focus on the needs of the employer. At the time that da Vinci wrote this letter, he was already an accomplished painter, sculptor, physician, musician and inventor. But daVinci didn’t focus his pitch on his artistic facility, but on his ability to create wondrous instruments of war – meeting the immediate needs of the Duke.
2. don’t tell your whole story, just enough to whet their appetite – notice that da Vinci didn’t include drawings or detailed descriptions of his war-waging creations. Instead he teased the Duke with descriptions of devices that could bridge streams, besiege fortresses, hurl mortars, destroy ships, tunnel under rivers, and protect chariots. At no point does da Vinci explain how he would accomplish any of these tasks, but the descriptions alone are enough to intrigue the Duke and secure an interview – exactly what your resume is intended to do.
3. describe what you can do, not just what you have done – da Vinci doesn’t just provide a laundry list of the projects that he’s completed, but describes how engaging da Vinci will benefit the Duke. The descriptions of endless means of offense and defense are nearly irresistable and provide the Duke with all the reason necessary to meet with da Vinci.
4. use language that engages the reader – my favorite line in the letter is his description of the mortars he can build that will “fling small stones almost resembling a storm; and with the smoke of these cause great terror to the enemy, to his great detriment and confusion.” He didn’t write that he could create a series of mortar assemblies capable of firing up to six projectiles per minute. Instead he used descriptive language that enabled the Duke to envision a storm of projectiles blackening the sky and instilling terror in his enemies. And what Duke wouldn’t want the power to unleash that firestorm?

Isn’t it time you revisited your own resume to incorporate some of da Vinci’s timeless tips of genius?

Full text of da Vinci’s letter:

Most Illustrious Lord, Having now sufficiently considered the specimens of all those who proclaim themselves skilled contrivers of instruments of war, and that the invention and operation of the said instruments are nothing different from those in common use: I shall endeavor, without prejudice to any one else, to explain myself to your Excellency, showing your Lordship my secret, and then offering them to your best pleasure and approbation to work with effect at opportune moments on all those things which, in part, shall be briefly noted below.

1. I have a sort of extremely light and strong bridges, adapted to be most easily carried, and with them you may pursue, and at any time flee from the enemy; and others, secure and indestructible by fire and battle, easy and convenient to lift and place. Also methods of burning and destroying those of the enemy.

2. I know how, when a place is besieged, to take the water out of the trenches, and make endless variety of bridges, and covered ways and ladders, and other machines pertaining to such expeditions.

3. If, by reason of the height of the banks, or the strength of the place and its position, it is impossible, when besieging a place, to avail oneself of the plan of bombardment, I have methods for destroying every rock or other fortress, even if it were founded on a rock, etc.

4. Again, I have kinds of mortars; most convenient and easy to carry; and with these I can fling small stones almost resembling a storm; and with the smoke of these cause great terror to the enemy, to his great detriment and confusion.

5. And if the fight should be at sea I have kinds of many machines most efficient for offense and defense; and vessels which will resist the attack of the largest guns and powder and fumes.

6. I have means by secret and tortuous mines and ways, made without noise, to reach a designated spot, even if it were needed to pass under a trench or a river.

7. I will make covered chariots, safe and unattackable, which, entering among the enemy with their artillery, there is no body of men so great but they would break them. And behind these, infantry could follow quite unhurt and without any hindrance.

8. In case of need I will make big guns, mortars, and light ordnance of fine and useful forms, out of the common type.

9. Where the operation of bombardment might fail, I would contrive catapults, mangonels, trabocchi, and other machines of marvellous efficacy and not in common use. And in short, according to the variety of cases, I can contrive various and endless means of offense and defense.

10. In times of peace I believe I can give perfect satisfaction and to the equal of any other in architecture and the composition of buildings public and private; and in guiding water from one place to another.

11. I can carry out sculpture in marble, bronze, or clay, and also I can do in painting whatever may be done, as well as any other, be he who he may.

Again, the bronze horse may be taken in hand, which is to be to the immortal glory and eternal honor of the prince your father of happy memory, and of the illustrious house of Sforza.

And if any of the above-named things seem to anyone to be impossible or not feasible, I am most ready to make the experiment in your park, or in whatever place may please your Excellency – to whom I comment myself with the utmost humility, etc.

The Wall Street Journal published an article yesterday that described how many major search firms actually keep a blacklist of candidates that they would never consider for any job opening.

Typically, these firms add candidates to their blacklist who have exaggerated their qualifications, pitted recruiting firms against each other, received negative references or performed badly during the search process.

Previously, having your name blacklisted at a single search firm may not have affected your ability to find a new position, but with the proliferation of social media platforms, including industry specific social networking sites, your poor behavior won’t be limited to a single recruiter, but has the potential to be broadcast to a national network of recruiters.

Recruiters spend their entire day on the phone and online chatting with prospective candidates, checking references and engaging with other recruiters. They are professional communicators who have the ability to broadly disseminate negative information about any candidate who lied to them, falsified their accomplishments or behaved deceptively.

Job seekers often feel pressured to enhance their education and their professional achievements to merit consideration for a new job. However, it’s easier than ever to verify the details of a candidate’s background and once caught in a lie you may destroy the prospect of being considered by any recruiting firm. For years, perhaps forever.

The same social media platforms that allow you to reach recruiters all around the country with a single tweet also enable them to check on your qualifications and professionalism. If you’re honest and open, you’ll have nothing to worry about.

SUBJECT LINE: Question..

Is that a period and its twin, or is it ellipses that can’t find its third dot anywhere? Ah, an easy mistake for a journalism and communications major to make.

Hello, my name is ___________ and I am a senior undergraduate student at Well Recognized University in the Midwest, graduating with high honors in May with bachelor’s degrees in both Journalism/Mass Communication and Communication Studies. Although currently I reside and go to school in __________, I am originally from the Chicagoland area and am looking to start my career there in May.

In this letter, you use the word “I” 35 times, “me” six times and “my” 11 times in 573 words. Granted, it’s a cover letter and the subject is yourself, but since you’re applying to work here, the subject is also us, and the communication business we cover. But we get your logic: We already know all about ourselves, right? What we need to know more about is you!

P.S. In Chicago, nobody but weather-men and traffic reporters use the term “Chicagoland.” Actually, weathermen, traffic reporters and distant suburbanite kids trying to sound hard-bitten.

I cannot express to you how excited I became as I came across the website for Regan. It is the kind of company that I have been looking for, and I am willing to do whatever it takes to obtain a full-time position at Regan.

You were too excited, apparently, to check the spelling of the company’s five-letter name.

Last year, an essay that I wrote was nationally recognized and I was, in turn, rewarded for my “excellence in undergraduate research.” My work was submitted by one of my professors, who complimented my persuasive writing/speaking style and suggested that I look into graduate school. However, I am far too eager, at this point, to get started in a career—and even moreso now that Regan is an option.

Hey, we love our work, and we have a good time doing it. But are you actually saying the prospect of a job at a niche trade publisher has you geeked out of your young and hopeful mind? We cannot express how skeptical this makes us feel.

I am a prominent undergraduate student in the communication studies department here, and from time to time even assist graduate students with brainstorming and analysis.

A “prominent undergraduate,” eh? Your university has 30,000 undergraduate students, the only “prominent” ones of which play on the football team. Look, we cover PR here; don’t try to kid a bunch of kidders, okay kiddo?

More than this, I am primarily a journalism student and my work has been published mostly in the university news-paper …. However, I also worked as a news reporter/intern at a local radio station for almost the entire 2006-07 school year. There, I reported on, and wrote stories—daily—for air. I also did on-air news and weather. Aside from filing affidavits (for none other than Clear Channel) and filling out program logs—I had the opportunity to meet lots of new people and work in a high-pressure position with deadlines and time-consuming interviews. I loved it.

Wait: Did you say you filed affidavits for a radio company? Which radio company? Was it a company other than Clear Channel? No? It was none other than Clear Channel? Gadzooks, how soon can you start?

I want to bring my passion, skill, and knowledge to Regan. I realize that you may not be the person that I should be speaking with, but I needed to contact someone.

In the last 5 years of my life, I have been told by many different people that I have a much different way of thinking. I think outside of the box (without even realizing it) and have a perfectionist complex that does not permit me room for error in my work.

Ooh, this might be a problem. Here at “Regan,” we have a requirement that when our employees want to think outside the box, they have to ask permission to do it, which obviously means they have to realize when they’re about to think outside the box. Do you think you might be able to train yourself to be more aware of your mental position, relative to the box?

When I do something, I give it everything that I have. When I am given a task, I get it done better than expected. The men at the radio station referred to me as “Chicago” and “sassy”—and never failed to give me stories that required contacting the hard-to-get sources. I always got them to talk, and I always got them to “spill it.” Sassy, they said, is for the ability that I have when it comes to asking the “tough questions.” They always said to me jokingly…“you have the look to get the interview with men and women alike, the charm to keep the interview, the intelligence to ask the right questions, the passion to ask the hard ones, and the innocent smile that gets an honest answer out of anyone.”

These “men” at the radio station were about two ticks away from sexual harassment, girlfriend. A worthy subject for discussion no doubt, but not in a cover letter, please.

My resume is attached. Thanks for hearing me out. I am honestly thrilled to have found this company and look forward to hearing from you soon. All of the careers listed on your website are of interest to me. However, I think that my writing style would be most applicable to speechwriting or public relations.

Excellent. Except we don’t do speechwriting or public relations.

Sincerely,

But we’ll be sure to keep your letter on file—and refer to it every time we want to remember: How full of themselves most young people are … that all the college courses in the world can’t teach a person how to communicate effectively … and how desperate and ill-equipped even “prominent undergrads” such as yourself feel as they prepare to leave their cozy college environs and test their sass in the big bad world.

Lessons learned from her disastrous letter:

1. Proofread the letter. Then proofread it again. Confirm that you spelled the company name correctly and that you spelled the name of the intended recipient correctly. Really, it doesn’t get any more basic than this. We receive correspondence all the time from people eager to work with NESCO Resources, which is terrific, except that our company name is NESCO Resource. It makes a difference.
2. Know what the company does. This applicant can’t wait to get involved with professional speechwriting and public relations. The only problem is that Ragan doesn’t do either. Big fail.
3. Shift the focus from your desires to the company’s needs. Your goals and dreams, while massively important to you, really aren’t that important or interesting to your potential employer. They want to know precisely what you can do for them. What value do you bring? How can you contribute?
4. Demonstrate your expertise with detail, not broad claims. The writer’s claims that she “thinks outside the box” and “I give it everything I have” are self-aggrandizing statements that are much less effective than detailed descriptions of projects or tasks that actually demonstrate your expertise. Don’t just say you’re creative and hard-working, provide a real-life example.